so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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