dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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