Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
