I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
