It's just like the Real World with babies
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
