Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
