Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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