I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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