quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
