you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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