where does the pee come out of this thing
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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