It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
operation have a gay friend backfired
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
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