Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
