I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
