hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
This is the high leading the old right now
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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