No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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