If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
