dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
