Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
