I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
