Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
