i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
