What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize