dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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