you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
