smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
