K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
MIDGETS
????
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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