Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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