That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
