Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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