So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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