i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize