I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
