Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
