I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
