Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
