I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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