i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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