This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
