Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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