I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
