Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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