I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Duck Duck Cougar?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
