im about as happy as oj after his trial
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
