So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
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Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
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I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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