What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
my being single is dangerous.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
