i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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