I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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