i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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