Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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