How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
