he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He felt like a one man threesome
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
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I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
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List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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