I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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