Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize