Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
